Hear ye! Hear Ye! The court will come to order...
"Mr. Wahlnut, How do you plead in the matter of paying an insane sum for a pen?," the judge asked. "Guilty, your honor," the Wahlnut replied. The judge then addressed the assembled parties: "The sanity hearing for Mr. Wahlnut is now in session."
This was a strange proceeding in that the plaintiff and the respondent attorney were one and the same.
Counsel for the State of Normalcy opened with "Why would anyone-- never mind an expert Wahlster-- pay $500+ for a worn out black chased Deco Band? Yeah, Deco Bands in catalogued colors in great shape can top $1000? Certainly a crisp red chased pen should blow out that number, and the uncatalogued Flamingo should go far far higher in price, but discolored Jade can go for couple hundred, and this is a just worn out black pen."
But before the respondent could answer, his counsel speaking from the other of the 2 heads on his shoulders interjected with "
What catches my eye is that the chasing pattern appears not to be the typical Grecian Border pattern found on chased rubber pens."
"Yes!" shouted the respondent. In my eyes the item in question is not just a pen, it is not simply a BCHR # 86 series personal point pen. It is not just an old worn writing instrument.
It is an artifact. Who can put a price on that? A torn out section of a native american hand woven basket of a particularly rare design, or a broken pot shard with incising or decoration not seen before or since unearthed in an archaeological expedition rises to artifact level...So in my eyes does this pen. The defendant continued as if arguing to justify his whole philosophy and with it his very credibility was on the line. he thought he had made his case when
Someone from the gallery shouted: "Hey Wahlnut, are you gonna RE-BLACKEN it?" Ordinarily the Wahlnut would ignore such a snipe from a heckler, but the stakes were too high. "No" retorted the Wahlnut. "An item such as this is no user grade, 'gee lets see how it writes and looks in my pocket; item. It deserves to be left as found."
Shouts of Hurrah! Hurrah! spontaneously poured from the pro and anti blackening elements in the gallery alike. The judge moved for a summary judgement declaring the sanity of the respondent intact.
After the bustle of the courtroom had long died down and the press was interviewing the 2 headed counsel about his 2 heads (for what would be more newsworthy than a 2 headed lawyer?!), the defendant walked slowly but happily toward home where some day soon the item that caused such a stir would surely arrive (if only the postal gods were good) and to prepare his sealed glass inert gas pen repository for the Wahl Eversharp #860? BCHR Grecian Border Oversized pen.
It was a good day after all.
All of the characters except the Wahlnut are fictional. Any resemblance between them and any person living or dead are purely coincidentalSyd
Edited by Wahlnut, 15 January 2012 - 08:41 PM.